Image by James Cridland

Image by James Cridland


I’m not talking about the size of my hips compared to my shoulders though they are the bane of my life as far as dress-buying is concerned.

I’m talking (well, writing) about peoples’ perception of events and feelings in their lives. We all experience things differently. Every day I hear people criticising others for not being able to cope with situations as well as they perceive them to be capable of. Girls bitch about their friends who can’t handle rejection from a guy they like, people accuse others of “whining” when they’re experiencing pain from a minor injury. If the negative experiences in my life have taught me anything it’s that everyones perspective is different.

If a graduate who has spent his or her university life having everything paid for and living the high life, comes into the real world and is forced to get a temporary job on a low wage, they are going to be hit rather hard by the stark lifestyle changes they have to make. I myself have been slightly guilty of being over-critical of this type of person, however I have come to accept that these kinds of changes and sacrifices are going to be harder for them to cope with than for someone who has always had to be self-sufficient during hard times.

Likewise if someone experiences an injury which to another seems trivial, if they are feeling the worst physical pain they have ever felt in their life, even if it would be mildly uncomfortable to another, it will affect them deeply. Emotionally too, when you’re rejected for the first time, or experience your first close bereavement, it’s always a difficult experience to cope with, and friends who have been through it before should sympathise, not grow impatient because they think they would be able to cope better.

This is something I’ve been thinking about recently. I am that girl in the job that is supposed to be temporary but becoming more and more semi-permanent every day. Thankfully I realised very early on that I needed to get my act together and stop trying to live the high life when I couldn’t afford it, but I have seen others who have given up and moved back in with their parents again (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it certainly wouldn’t be my choice). I think we can all be guilty sometimes of judging the reactions of others with our own criteria, and criticising them for not being able to cope with circumstances as well as we ourselves would be able to. So, thinking back to the “Weekly Resolutions” that the fabulous Gala Darling started, my resolution for this week is to try and remember that other people may find their experiences harder to handle than I do, and require more patience and understanding than I or others would.

(Allow me to apologise for the slightly disjointed tone of this post – new policies at work have meant I am now unable to spend as much time online as I used to, and have therefore been unable to check this as thoroughly as I would have liked to!)

4 Responses to “Perspective”

  1. Very true Vixel. Our own perspective can be so warped or just well different in comparison to how others (like family for example) see us. Thats when conflict and misunderstanding occurs I believe. When we can’t see if from someone else’s point of view or they can’t see ours… Great post. It wasn’t disjointed so no need to apologise either… 😉

  2. A to the men, Vixel. This is something I really struggle with, the constant desire to shake people by the shoulder and yelp “Suck it up! Go do something about it! Stop yer dam whinging”

    But that’s not necessarily going to work for everyone, right? 🙂

  3. I totally get you – it’s difficult to gain perspective sometimes. You look at others and think, really, get it together! Because you know you’d handle stuff differently, but it’s all about experience and expectations really, isn’t it?

  4. 4 coolpogirl

    Very true Vixel.

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